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Five
Rules from "How to Avoid Marrying A Jerk" - Dr. Van Epp
NUMBER FIVE: Opposites attract, but differences
often divide.
Take
inventory of your similarities and differences of personality, values,
and lifestyle. Go for a high degree of compatibility.
NUMBER FOUR: The apple doesn't fall far from
the tree.
Family
patterns form scripts and molds that often are replicated in future
relationships. Talk about his or her family background and watch how
he or she interacts with different family members.
NUMBER THREE: History repeats itself.
Look
closely at the way he or she acted throughout previous relationships.
You probably will get something similar.
NUMBER TWO: Take time to get to know the talk
AND the walk.
The
first three months can be exhilarating . . . but then you start to
see patterns. Going too fast too soon will infect you with the "love
is blind" syndrome. It is a good rule of thumb to first develop a
strong friendship.
NUMBER ONE: First remove the log from
your own eye.
A
relationship cannot fulfill what is deficient or unhealthy in your
own personal life. Get your act together before you complicate things
with a relationship.
Dr.
John Van Epp has conducted numerous seminars and workshops over the
past fifteen years on topics related to marriage, family, recovery,
singlehood, emotional make-up, relationships, and divorce. His popular
video program, How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk, is being taught in 45
states, seven countries, over 250 military bases and thousands of
churches, single organizations, educational settings and agencies.
The book is currently in review for publication. He has presented
his program internationally in seminars and conferences, including
the Smart Marriages Conference of the Coalition for Marriage, Family
and Couples Education in Washington D.C., Orlando, FL, and Denver
CO, International and Chapter Conferences for the North American Association
for Separated and Divorced Catholics, to name a few. His years of
clinical counseling experiences and extensive research in premarital,
marital and family relations have been enriched by his previous experience
as a minister. He has an M.A. in Pastoral Counseling and Psychology,
and a second M.A. in Church History from Ashland Theological Seminary,
and a Ph.D. in Counseling and Psychology from the University of Akron.
He has been happily married for twenty-three years, and is the proud
father of two daughters.
His Web site is www.nojerks.com.
You can contact Dr. Van Epp at vanepp@nojerks.com
or (330) 321-3527.
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